Love, the Second Time Around: Why Later-in-life Weddings Are Something Special

When Stuart and I decided to get married, we were doing it for the second time — both of us. And that changed everything about the day we wanted.

We weren't two young things at the start of life, unsure of what we liked or who we were. We knew ourselves. We knew what mattered to us, what we'd loved about weddings we'd been part of before, and — just as importantly — what we didn't want to do again. That clarity turned out to be one of the loveliest things about marrying later in life.

A day built around us.

We held our wedding at Hamilton Gardens, somewhere relaxed and beautiful, and we kept the whole thing casual and laid back. No stiff formality, no following a rulebook that didn't fit us. Just the people we loved, in a place we loved, celebrating something true.

One of the things we did that we absolutely adored was being there as our guests arrived. Rather than tucking ourselves away and making a grand entrance, we got to meet and greet everyone as they came in — a hug here, a chat there, a chance to actually be with the people who'd come to share the day. It set the tone perfectly. By the time the ceremony began, the whole gathering already felt warm and connected.

And here's the thing — Stuart is quite a reserved person, and standing up the front in the spotlight was never going to be his idea of a good time. I, for my part, had no desire to walk up an aisle. So we didn't. Our celebrant worked with both of us, beautifully and without judgement, to design a ceremony that felt natural to who we are. Because we'd each been married before, we came in with pretty firm ideas, and she listened to all of it — shaping the day around exactly what we wanted, and gently steering clear of what we didn't.

That's the gift of a celebrant who truly tailors the day to the couple in front of her. There is no "right" way to get married. There's only the way that's right for you.

Bringing our children in

Between us, Stuart and I had children ranging from eleven years old right up into their thirties — and there was never any question of leaving them on the sidelines. This wasn't only our day; it was a joining of our families.

So we gave them roles. Some gave speeches, others took part in different moments through the ceremony. Including them wasn't just a nice touch — it was the heart of it. A later-in-life wedding so often means blending lives that already have history, laughter, and love in them.

Honouring the children, whatever their age, is one of the most meaningful things you can do.

What makes later-in-life weddings special

Having walked this road myself, here's what I've come to treasure about marrying the second time around:

You know what you want. You've lived a bit. You can let go of the things that don't matter to you and pour your energy into the ones that do.

You can throw out the rulebook. No aisle? Fine. Reserved partner who'd rather not be centre stage? We'll work with that. The day should fit you — not the other way around.

Your families come with you. Children, grandchildren, old friends — a later wedding is a celebration of everything that's brought you to this point, and there's room for all of it.

Casual can be every bit as moving. A relaxed, laid-back day doesn't mean a less meaningful one. Some of the most heartfelt ceremonies I've been part of were the simplest.

A final thought

Our wedding at Hamilton Gardens remains one of the happiest days of my life — not because it was grand, but because it was ours. It was shaped around who we really are, it brought our children into the heart of it, and it let us spend the day surrounded by, and present with, the people we love.

If you're thinking about marrying later in life, please don't feel you have to do it the way it's "supposed" to be done. You get to decide. And a good celebrant is here to listen, to understand the two of you, and to help craft a day that feels completely and unmistakably your own.

With aroha, Kathryn